"Valkyrie"

Ugh, I have no idea why, but I actually had high hopes for this most recent Tom Cruise dud. "Valkyrie" had every opportunity to be a good movie, but it managed to miss every one of those opportunities. I suppose if you're dying to see this movie, go ahead. It's not a complete waste of time, but don't expect for this to be Tom Cruise's "comeback" movie. He hasn't comeback...at all.

You might be wondering how I can think "Paul Blart" was a good movie and "Valkyrie" not. In movies, though, you have to consider them in context. Who has expectations for a movie named "Paul Blart?" Not me. Therefore, it wasn't that bad, b/c it was never supposed to be "good." "Valkyrie" however, took itself very seriously. It had several different characters played by accomplished actors. The problem is, the characters never really developed and the movie just seemed to fall short. Watching this movie, if anything, is merely scratching the itch. If you're curious about Tom Cruise's latest, go ahead and watch it. But don't expect much. Tom Cruise isn't terrible in it. The movie just doesn't hit. There's something missing. If you want to see a great Tom Cruise movie, watch "Tropic Thunder" instead

Overall, I'd give it a: don't skip "The Duel" for it
- Goose and Mav taking notes on how to be 'cool like James'

"Paul Blart: Mall Cop"

Everyday at 4:00pm, I'm at home, feet propped, watching me some "King of Queens." I know it's not the funniest show ever (it doesn't even hold a candle to "Seinfeld"...what does?...did i just make that saying up "hold a candle to..." or is that legit?) but I think Kevin James is hilarious. Usually my afternoons are uninterrupted, unless Garrett calls to tell me how he just learned to snap, or how at the ripe age of 29, he's finally learned how to shoot a basketball like a normal person. But that's neither here nor there.

Whether it's stand up comedey or sitcoms, Kevin James is funny. That is why I enjoyed "Mall Cop." The movie is PG, so don't expect any Judd Apatow type humor. I suppose b/c we live in a world where comedic movies are based on how many times you can show male nudity, drop the F-bomb (or even have kids use that language), etc, I find it refreshing that some movies DARE to be funny w/out resorting to those tactics. "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" is a pretty good movie. There are a few funny scenes, not very long, and clean. If you like Kevin James, you'll enjoy this movie. It's not a movie you're going to be quoting the next day, but it's perfect for watching after a big meal, when you're barely conscious (which was my state). Also, if you enjoyed "Bedtime Stories," you'll probably enjoy this as well.

Overall, I'd give it a: sure, why not?

movie side note: watch out for actor Adhir Kalyan. I doubt you'll recognize him from anything. He plays the character "Pahud." I only mention him b/c the 2 or maybe 3 scenes he is in are hilarious. I wish he had been in it more.
Also, if you too are a fan of Kevin James and have often thought to tell your spouse to "Shutty"...DON'T. Every time I've tried it w/ my wife, it results in me getting punched, kicked, or...pinched - and that's the worst.

"Taken"

I am extremely biased towards actor Liam Neeson b/c of his role as Qui-Gon Jinn in "Star Wars Episode 1: Phantom Menace." His hair was long, the force was strong in him, and I'm pretty sure he was the first to the netherworld.
Having said that, no biased needed here when critiquing "Taken." If you are a fan of any "Bourne" movies, then you will enjoy "Taken" as well. The action scenes don't take long to get to. They are fast moving, highly choreographed, entertaining, and hinge on the edge of believable. You will have to throw out some realism as countless bullets whizz by Neeson's body, himself going unharmed.

When this movie was in theaters, all I kept hearing was how great this movie was. Maybe b/c it was released when there were no other good movies out, but that was the general consensus for this movie. So going into it, my expectations were high. Maybe that's why I'm not ranting and raving about it now. It was really good, don't get me wrong but I wouldn't call it amazing. It's definitely a movie more for guys than girls.
Overall, I'd give it a really good (w/ some predictability).

movie side note: don't worry, this doesn't give anything away: at the beginning of the movie, Neeson gives his daughter a karaoke machine. Reminded me of when my mom gave my dad the same gift (although, I think he was turning 57 when he got his gift). My dad, high on the thrill of Karaoke, decide it best to use it while sitting atop a picnic table...alone...in the middle of the woods. His audience? the random squirrel, the occasional jumping mullet, and whatever family member decided to walk out onto the cabin porch and yell sarcastic remarks at him. I'm pretty sure my cousin Ian wanted to go poke him w/ a stick, but that never happened.

"Last Chance Harvey"

I almost didn't write a review on this movie simply b/c it left me with nothing to say. It's not a bad movie, it's not a good movie. It's just kind of...there. Predictable? Yes. Entertaining? A little. I don't think I would recommend it to too many people, but if someone said that they just rented it, I wouldn't chastise them for wasting their time/money. Here are probably the best conditions for this movie: 1. a rainy day 2. You don't want to have to think too much 3. Nothing good on TV.

Don't get me wrong, Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson are both in it, so it can't be all bad. Some might say the worst thing a movie/book can do is make you indifferent towards it and that's exactly how I feel towards this movie. I watched it and then forgot about it the second it was over. If your day fits the above criteria, then give it a whirl.

Overall, I'd give it an "ehhh" w/ a shoulder shrug

movie side note: I got nothin'. I'm still thinking about "Star Trek."

"Star Trek"

I've finally seen a movie that surpasses its hype. "Star Trek" was incredible. It's right at 2 hours long, and there isn't one lull in the entire movie. The story is great, the special effects are great, how they introduce the characters is great. In my mind, the goal of these type of movies (like "X-Men," "Lord of the Rings," "Star Wars," "Batman" etc) is to make you feel like a kid again. "Star Trek" accomplishes this. It's a movie that I left saying, "I'm going to buy that the day it comes out on DVD." This movie entertains both trekies and the casual movie goer. I can't say enough good things about, so I'll just stop now.

The only qualm that I might have w/ the film is that it actually has me legitimately comparing "Star Trek" with "Star Wars." I never thought this day would come. If you picked out one of the 6 "Star Wars" movies and compared it to "Star Trek," Trek would win hands down. That fact has shaken the very ground that I walk on. Fortunately, the story of "Star Wars" along w/ its creativity put it over the top.

Overall, I'd give "Star Trek" an A++. Go see it.

ps. see if you can find one of the soldiers of Rohan in the movie.

movie side note: I told my friend Sarah that if she and her husband Dave went to see "Star Trek" w/ my wife and me, that I'd mention them in my review. Now though, after experiencing Dave's driving, I find myself reluctant to go through w/ my promise. I'm just kidding. It was actually one of the funnest rides I've ever been on (and I just spent a weekend in Orlando visiting 2 different theme parks). We were catching air over speed bumps (that I didn't think he knew were there), fishtailing around several corners, and were lost half the time (and we were only going a few miles down the road. How he was able to get us lost was the most impressive part). You would have thought he was doing all this on purpose but I'm pretty sure all he was thinking about was why he didn't grab a second piece of pizza when leaving the house and whether or not his little brother really could beat him up now. The only ride I've been on that made me more nautious was "Cat in the Hat" at Islands of Adventure. It's a kiddy ride that'll make you puke your lunch.

"Benjamin Button"

Going into this movie, I had these preconceived notions:1. it's an Oscar nominated movie, so it's going to be more on the boring side. 2. it is going to be way too long 3. i can run faster than brad pitt.

Turns out I was wrong about 2 of the 3 (eat my dust brad pitt). "Benjamin Button" is a great movie. While watching it, I finally felt like I was watching a real movie; a movie that didn't rely on special affects and lead actors shirtless and growling at the moon. This movie told a unique story, used color brilliantly, was set in the early 1900's, had local color, etc.



The length of the film is just shy of 3 hours. It didn't feel long at all. I must admit though that I did stop an hour into it to watch the first 3 innings of the braves vs mets game (and I'd do it again...braves won 8-3, c'mon.) I'll tell you this about the length: I only watched an hour and a half of "Australia" b/c I couldn't bare the thought of having to endure another 90 minutes of that junk. The almost 3 hours of "Buttion" felt half as long as the 1 1/2 hours of "Australia."



Overall, I'd recommend this movie to any and everyone. It's terrific. Great story, great actors playing great characters. I loved it.





movie side note: since this movie is too good to make some stupid quip about, I'll use this time to vent on the incredibly lengthy "Biggest Loser" (or 'fat show' as I call it) season finale. If you want to talk about 3 hours being wasted, try watching NBC's show stretch out (pun intended) a weigh in verdict that could have been over after 10 minutes. Instead, we had to watch as one contestant after another fell way short of beating Jerry (who appeared half crazy / half mentally ill) in the "at- home challenge." After the obligatory hug from conquered contestants, Jerry would stare into space as if wondering where he was, who all those people were that kept hugging him, why drool kept dripping down his chin and onto his shirt, and what he was going to do w/ the 8 lbs of fat that was dangling from his underarms.

It was pathetic. It was such pointless dribble that I'm honestly considering not watching next season. THAT is how you waste 3 hours.

"Marley and Me"

The following accounts are completely true: My family has not had a great history with dogs. They are as follows: 1. Before I was born, my family had a dog. I don't remember its name. I never knew it b/c, while my family was gone, it got eaten by an alligator on the front porch of our house (in Palm Valley). 2. We had a dog named Sugar. It got the cops called on it more than once by our senile neighbor. My parents told us they took it to a farm to live. I believed that lie until I was about 18. (I discovered the truth while watching TV. On the show, the parents fed their children the same lie and I thought to myself, "what idiot would believe that." I was that idiot.) 3. My sister got a dog when I was about 13. I don't remember its name either b/c we only had it for about a week. My sister claimed that it was too hyper because, and I quote, "I think it's getting drunk off wild berries in the back yard." Let's review: dog #1 gets eaten by an alligator, dog #2 was a criminal, dog #3 got wasted in the backyard off wild berries.

Having said all that, after watching "Marley and Me" I want a dog. It was a good movie. I was expecting a kid movie, but there were more "real life" situations than I expected. It's not a movie that's going to change your life, but it's pretty good. It might be about 15-20 minutes too long and parts of it take itself too seriously but overall, it's worth a watch. I didn't know that Alan Arkin was in it. He was great. My favorite part might be when they try and make Owen Wilson look 5-7 years older by simply parting his hair in the middle. It was awesome. I'm used to seeing Wilson in "Bottlerocket" or "Wedding Crashers." So seeing him as a father figure was a bit of a stretch for me. Jennifer Anniston was excellent as always. Overall, I'd say it's worth a watch.



movie side note: If "marley and me" combined with "lake placid", then they'd have something. Dog verse alligator: I know how that story ends. But it's still worth exploring.

"X-Men Origins: Wolverine"

I don't see a lot of movies in the theater simply b/c it's too expensive. But with summer blockbusters here, I have to splurge every once in a while. Wolverine was one of my acceptions. I saw it Saturday night and wasn't too impressed. The first 20 minutes or so are awesome. It tails off a bit after that. I was impressed by how many times they figured out ways to have Hugh Jackman in a scene without his shirt on. Matthew McConaughey must be pissed. I suppose my expectations were a bit too high. The movie is probably better than I'm leading on, but I had high hopes for this one. Between wolverine being topless and saying "grrr" everytime he got mad, I just thought it lacked in several areas. Gambit was a great character. I wish he had been more involved in the story. I think whatever movie follows this one will be a lot better. Overall, I'd give it a pretty good.

extra movie note: it's unfortunate that Hugh Jackman plays a tough character like wolverine, he's super jacked, and people still question his sexuality. Reminds me so much of my friend Garrett when we were in high school. The closer I look, the both kinda look alike.

"Twilight"

I'm not too sure what say about this movie. It wasn't as terrible as I thought it was going to be. I'm not too sure if that's a complitment though. When my friend Carey played golf for the first time with me, his game wasn't as terrible as I thought it was going to be, but he still shot around a 145 (which is, in fact, terrible). But based on the fact that he runs like a chicken, I was expecting a lot worse. Same goes for this movie. From what I heard about it, I thought it was going to be on the same level as "Catwoman" or "Daredevil" but I honestly didn't think it was that bad. My wife loved it, so maybe it's for those sentimental types who cry during sensitive tissue commercials. I don't know. I certainly wouldn't recommend "Twilight" to anyone, but I also wouldn't laugh in their face if they were being forced to watch it by their girlfriend or wife. Overall, I'd say it was just above ok.


Movie side note: If you want a good laugh, watch for when "Edward" carries the girl up the mountain on his back. Might be the weirdest looking thing I've seen in a movie in a long time. He looked like an Irish step dancer. His upper body was completely still while his lower legs flailed around like a worm trying to get off a hook.

"Frost vs Nixon"

I watched "Frost vs Nixon" the other day, mainly b/c it was directed by Ron Howard and pretty much everything he directs is worth a watch (excluding "Davinci Code.") Not having grown up in the time of Nixon, I thought this movie would be over my head but it wasn't. I loved it. Ron Howard knows how to tell a story. There were great acting performances by all sides. I'm not going to go into anything technical like cinematography b/c I happen to think that word's made up. I recommended it to my parents and they both loved it. My mom was quoted as saying, "Favorite child, you really know a good movie when you see one. Here, I made you some banana bread." If you shy away from slower paced movies, I would still give this one a try. It's worth a watch. Also, if you like this, try watching "Bobby."


Movie Side note: My wife didn't like this movie because Sam Rockwell was in it and she thought his character in "Snowangels" was... "ickey." So now any movie he is in will be a complete failure in her eyes.

Introduction

Hello all who are bored enough to read this. My name is James McDonald and after much procrastination, I have decided to start a movie review blog. I know there are tons of these out there in internet world, so why not add one more to the mix. I love movies, I don't pretend to know everything about them, but if you say a movie is bad that I think is good, I'll punch you in the throat.


I feel I should tell you a few of my favorites so you will know if our tastes align. I refuse to say what movie is my "all time favorite" b/c I think that's an impossible question to answer. There are too many different genres, too many different moods for different types of movies. "Shawshank Redemption" is nothing like "Spaceballs," but I love them both equally. I also love "Pulp Fiction," "Snatch" and the entire "Star Wars" collection. "Not Another Teen Movie" might be one of the greatest films ever made, along with "Teenwolf," "Transformers," and all 3 "Austin Powers" movies. If I happen to be flipping channels and I come across "Oceans 11" or "Inside Man," I'll watch 'em. Anything by Wes Anderson I'll watch and like, except "Darjeeling Limited." I hated that movie. I'm not pretentious enough to pretend I liked it.


There are too many to list, really. My hope is that as you continue reading this blog, you will gain a better understanding of my tastes.


One thing you should know as you read my reviews is that I will NOT give anything away as far as the plot goes (a huge pet peeve of mine). I don't pick "deep" movies to make me feel smarter (i'm incredibly smart, i don't need movies to prove that) and I am handsome. That has nothing to do with movies either, but I feel it adds to my credibility.


I hope this blog helps you enjoy your movie watching experience.